Finally, we’ve moved to a new website. Thank you for being there!

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It’s been a journey here and praise is to Allah we’re finally moving to a new website!

It’s growwithwords.com.

Thanks to you, our readers, for being a motivation.

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With the new improved website, we’ll even be able to serve you more insha’Allah. So, activities will now be moved to the website. Feel free to explore it!

Currently, though, there are still some developmental works on it, but, hey, it is up and running for your enjoyment.

Some of the features you will explore in the new website include:

Better reading experience

Newsletter signup to receive our posts

A better way to contribute to posts through comments, etc.

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Before I’ll finally say bye-bye here, I really need to say two words.

Thank you!

Thanks once again to you, our readers, who’ve been with us. You’re awesome!

And to the designer and builder of our new website, Sydewalka Design, we say thank you, jazaakumuAllahukhayraa! You can connect with him through the following links for your website design.

Websites: sydewalka.com | fiverr.com/oyeibrahim | blocklancer.net/user/u/oyeibrahim

Emails: oyetunjiibrahim@gmail.com | oyeibrahim@sydewalka.com

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Enough of the talk, right? Yeah, just go to growwithwords.com and get started!

UPDATE: We’ve now further moved to https://medium.com/@oyetunjibashir

Your Gifts

by Bashir Oyetunji

Once, I was called upon by this young and vibrant youth to help with something. I had thought that the work would be an exhausting one, so I felt reluctant to answer the call. After meeting with this guy, however, I was astounded and I reflected. He wanted help with a writing that, to me, is so simple but, to him, was a mountain.

There I thought about this writing ability I’m gifted with and from there the reflection came upon me,

what if I don’t know how to write, use a communication device, etc., would I have incurred any sin to my account if I don’t know these things? Now that I know them, wouldn’t I incur sins to my account when I fail to use these gifts the right way?

I asked myself further,

should my gift be an advantage for me or a disadvantage? How am I using my gifts?

Extensively, I got myself thinking about what we all are gifted with. It’s not only about a skill but it extends to even our existence.

Is our existence not worthy of been explored to gain good rewards for ourselves? What about our gifts of hands, legs, eyes, and other parts of our body? Shouldn’t those parts be used to gain rewards instead of being used to incur sins?

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Most times, we tend to use our concrete and abstract gifts to commit sins. This is a wrong thing to do. Those things should rather be used to gain good rewards for ourselves.

Your beauty shouldn’t be used to destroy. Rather, it should be used to please your legal partner.

Your money should not be used to abuse. It should not be used to show off to the don’t-haves. Rather, it should be used to help, save, and acquire good rewards.

Your children should not be used to spite. Rather, they should be means of gaining good rewards.

Your devices should not be used to indulge in sinful acts. Rather, they should be used to acquire knowledge and gain things.

Your knowledge should not be used to look down on people. Rather, it should be used to save people.

It is a thing of joy to own a car. Isn’t it? But should that car be used to commit evil acts? Think about when someone doesn’t have a car, will such a person have any sinful reward to his reward bank? So now that one is in possession of that car, should it be used to even acquire bad rewards?

Imagine, however, how that car would be a plus for one when one uses it well. One would even be higher up in terms of reward gaining.

Wait here, no one is saying that you should discard your gifts. No, that’s insane. No one is saying that you should feel unhappy for your gifts. No. We all want good things of this life, definitely.

However, use those gifts to help, save, and gain rewards. Don’t hide them unnecessarily and don’t flaunt them unnecessarily. Rather, express them and make them known so you would save humanity with them.

I do envy people who spend on others. This is a virtuous act. Some others, instead, hide their money so people won’t request it from them but that shouldn’t be.

Some others, meanwhile, flaunt their money on irrelevances even though people out there are starving. This is not right as well.

Isn’t it nice to make someone happy? It’s nice my dear. It’s a reason to live.

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A Point of Note

Now, you might be wondering, “why am I and should I be gifted this thing?”

Don’t get worried. Your gift is a blessing and a plus.

Also, you might want to over-pull yourself. No, be gentle on yourself. Meaning, don’t overspend or unnecessarily deny yourself.

What I would advise, however, is just to try to, as much as possible, use your gifts well. Also, whenever you make a mistake, try to recall yourself, ask for forgiveness, and follow bad deeds with lots of good deeds.

 

So, be thankful for your gift and rise up to save someone with it today. You’ll feel a sense of happiness within you I tell you. Use your gifts to gain good rewards today; don’t use them to incur sins.

I’m Sorry: Little but Powerful Words

by Bashir Oyetunji

I still remember how a lifelong relationship could have been destroyed had I not humbled myself and utter the words, “I’m sorry.” I’m thankful for that!

The event occurred between my sister and I. I was unaware that she’d started looking around for a commodity I asked her to help me buy (while she didn’t want to tell me the ardor she was going through to get it).

My ignorance made me reacted in a foul manner by saying foul words to her. I thought she wasn’t helping with the errand. I had to retract my words and apologize and that made all the difference.

I’m sorry are those few, simple words that appear easy to pronounce, but, honestly, are hard to utter. You would think a block is in your mouth preventing you from saying those words.

Thinking about it, I’d say I’m sorry can cut or spare, unite or disunite.

Hear out my thoughts. There are very many inter-tribe, inter-state, or inter-nation conflicts that arose as a result of a mistake from one party to another. So, imagine that the erring party apologized and let go of their shame, would any conflict have arisen?

But when—and that’s what happens most times—such a mistake is accompanied by a pompous feeling and a refusal to apologize, imagine what could result thereby.

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The Power of I’m Sorry

As abstract as it is, that simple sentence can go deep down into the heart of an individual and soothe it.

This is what some married couples lack and which is tearing them apart. Most partners would not admit their mistakes, so I’m sorry will be hard for either of the partners to say.

Usually, this sentence seems like portraying the sayer as the one at fault and this simple fact is what most people would not want to admit. When there is no one at fault, everybody is right.

However, mutual understanding can just amend this misunderstanding and everybody will be sorry for their action.

Another tricky part of I’m sorry is that when people tend to say it just for the mere talking, it seems to be devoid of life and, sometimes, effectless.

If elders had not been pompous to say I’m sorry, then most feud would have been averted. If younger ones (imagine that too) have not been pompous to say the words, then the world would have been a better place.

I’m sorry makes you lower yourself in humbleness. And to do that it takes real forbearance.

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Characteristics of I’m Sorry

As simple as it is to say these words or even to fake it, they don’t come out of the sheer opening and closing of the mouth.

These words are gigantic and so have some attributes which would make them effective.

  1. Fully Accepting Your Wrong

It’s not just about the words coming out, but it’s about knowing that the recipient deserves it. Perhaps, that’s why it’s hard for people to say them most times.

  1. Saying Them Sincerely because You Regret Your Actions

When you say I’m sorry while regretting your ill actions, those words, I bet, will be weighty to the recipient and will have the needed effects they should have in the mind of the recipient.

  1. Saying Them because You Really Want a Settlement

So, here is the point where you’d just have to say I’m sorry even when you don’t really offend the recipient. Here, you crave only for settlement. In this case, you will really have to mean the words as if you’re an actor—can you act?

Most times when this happens, you’ll most likely get back your I’m sorry from the receiver in the future. That’s because s/he might later realize s/he is at fault.

But the main point here is that you have to really mean your repair-apology and say it for the purpose of friendship. Importantly, you must not misbehave later on in retaliation to the undeserved apology.

 

Final Words

I’m sorry can heal, dear reader. They are powerful words and, sincerely, I’ve seen them work. So, fight that why-will-I-apologize urge and say I’m sorry. Please do. Let’s make the world a better place. Let’s keep a healthy relationship.

How to Deal with Your Mistakes

by Bashir Oyetunji

You’ve probably made this mistake that to you is so severe or silly, and so you’ve been brooding about it all day. Or maybe the mistake is such that makes you think you wouldn’t be able to deal with it.

Relax okay. The mistake thing is not new with you and will not stop with you.

Yes, I make mistakes too. And FYI, dear, most people do, too.

Now, let’s go a bit into the imagination land.

 


Let’s imagine you are to spend seventy years on earth and then at age twenty you make a mistake that makes you see yourself as worthless. Let me ask you, “will you allow the mistake you made at age twenty shatter the remaining fifty years of your life?”

“Would you allow that embarrassing event you encountered at twentyrelate it to yourself nowto jeopardize the entire remaining fifty years you are to spend in life?”

Don’t you think those remaining years are worthwhile?


 

Just as you wouldn’t want to jeopardize your remaining fifty years of life with a single mistake, so also must you not take every other mistake, pitfall, sad experience, or embarrassment to heart. You must discard them, put them behind you, and never allow them to negatively determine even the next day of your life.

 


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Why You Must Leave Your Errors Behind

You keep nagging on a mistake you made yesterday. You keep doing so till a whole week runs out. You got so embittered by the mistake that you still brood on it for a whole year. In fact, you think that you will never ever stop thinking about it every single day of your life. Then the question,

“would the gravity of brooding about the mistake bring back the event?”

Definitely, no.

It has gone and gone forever. However, you can only make yourself better by doing some things which will be subsequently discussed.

A day that’s gone can never come back again. Even if you wail, cry and tear your body, the day has gone forever, and you will only see the breaking of new days.

Moreover, those you think were involved in the past event will go by. Young ones will grow old and the old ones will leave earth. But what about your life? Will you allow the event to destroy it?

Assuming you were given the chance to go back and amend the mistake you made, do you realize that you might still make another mistake before you return to the present? And will you keep going back all the time?

It is in our nature to make mistakes. The only advantage you’d do to yourself, however, is to learn from each mistake. When you do so, then subsequently, your mistakes will be getting minimal.

Think about it, if you didn’t make the mistakes you’ve made in the past, do you think you’d still have the loads of experience you have today?

How did you get to walk? You stood up, fell, stood up, fell, and you stood up again.

Same as when learning how to drive. You know you have to start somewhere–fall even, especially when learning how to ride a bicycle–and you’ll then be improving from there.


What You Must Do Instead

Now that you’ve agreed to leave behind your mistakes, there are some things to do instead in regards to your mistakes. Here they are.

* Learn

Yes, you must learn from your mistakes. You would be unfair to yourself when you don’t learn from your errors. You shouldn’t lose on two ends, should you? Agreed that you got control of your mistakes by getting over it, won’t you then want to know how to avoid making the same mistake again?

Say you fail as regards your conduct with someone, then try to take initiative from the experience. How should you subsequently be relating to people?

When you learn from each mistake, you’ll be growing gradually–consciously or subconsciously. If, for instance, you make one hundred mistakes in a year, then for each of the hundred mistakes, you’d have learned another one hundred ways of success, of strength, of knowledge. Imagine that!

So, always ensure to learn from each mistake as that’d be your asset and your takeaway.


* Make Necessary Corrections

You should also try and correct your errors if there is a chance for you to do so. If, for example, you were wayward to someone and you later realize your conduct, there is nothing wrong in amending your ways with the person by apologizing, perhaps.

You might have behaved badly to your wife or husband. Instead of brooding on the mistake or making it consume you, just go and make the necessary correction with him/her.

You might have committed a writing error in an assignment? If it is possible to change it, then go do so before your chance will elapse.


* Move On

Whatever you do, you just must make sure you move on after your mistakes. You must never let the mistakes consume you by making you stagnant. Take the mistakes lightly and forge ahead. If you commit another, still forgo the mistake and move on. Do not give your mistakes the chance to take over you.


* Never Brood

Brooding on your mistakes is dangerous. It can even lead you to commit suicide. Whatever you do, let go of your mistakes all the time and try to move on in life. You’ve committed them and there is nothing you can do to go back in time. However, there is the present which you can use judiciously and the future which you don’t know about. So brace up and get up after your mistakes.

So, what have you learned from your mistakes? Feel free to share them!

Do You Want to Grow Without Challenges?

by Bashir Oyetunji

Yes, of course, you want to! I do, too. And it seems all of us want to. Nobody wants to live life facing challenges such as failures, disappointments, regrets, and what have you.

But I’m sorry to break it to you dear, it is unlikely to scrape through life without challenges. It is sad to say this but that’s the bitter truth. If only we can avoid it, how nice would it have been! But challenges would always happen. So, what are we to do?

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Truly, it’s not a joke going through your current challenge. And, in fact, it looks like your challenge is novel. Whichever way, it will take a great effort to live through those challenging times.

However, one beautiful thing is that a challenge when tackled successfully will give you added power to live the remaining of your life.

When you fail in something, isn’t it likely that you will prepare even better for that thing when you want to do it again?

The way you’ll tackle a task you’ve once failed will be different from the way you’ll tackle the task as a fresh person in it. You’d have gained more knowledge and you’d have become close to being a master (if not yet a maser) in that task.

When people who haven’t experienced the ardor you’ve experienced in the task see you as an expert in it, what would you be doing? You would likely be smiling to yourself telling yourself, “what do these ones know? Do they know what I’ve gone through to achieve this feat?” That’s just one way challenges arm you.

 


 

When They Happen

Yes, challenges are experiences we don’t want and shouldn’t wish or pray for. But whenever they happen, we should brace up in regards to them. We must not stop trying. We must not stop pushing ahead.

At the initial stage of a challenge, surround yourself with lively people and laugh away your anguish. Then rise up again and keep on pushing. You might try new things or try your erstwhile task in a different way.

Just don’t give up. Don’t commit what’s not. Know that those challenges are “one of those things” and be prepared to even work harder to achieve your goals.

Keep on working, and you will feel good about those challenges in the end. See you at the top!

Be Happy Always

by Bashir Oyetunji

You wonder if you’ll ever become happy considering your problems and crises. You wonder if happiness is just like a star in the sky that you would only see but unable to grasp. “It is so hard for me to get back on track and feel happy again,” you thought.

Yes, it is not easy. You’ve gone through hell. You’ve seen enough, and you think you’d rather remain sad and gloomy than feel happy about anything. However, I’d advise you to think twice. Just as you’re thinking you’d always feel sad, I want you to consider happiness again. Why? That’s because it is full of ingredients that would nourish your life, bring you up, and revive you.

The price of sadness is costlier than that of happiness. Happiness will repair your body while sadness will damage it. Happiness will help your worldly and spiritual lives while sadness will damage them.

Stop in your tracks and look back with a smiling face then continue your journey with a face full of smiles and joy.

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Reasons why you should be happy

Okay, let’s face it. You think you have no reason to become happy. But if you stop to think about it, you’d realize there are reasons why you should be happy. Would you consider the following?

  • You’ll be active to work

One important reason why you must be happy is the fact that you will be able to work well and consequently move on in life. When you are sad, your heart, mind, and body would just not be good to carry out important tasks. In such cases when you miss important tasks, that could cause a lot of negativities in your life.

I can still relate this feeling to a time when I was sad. At that time, important writings that I should’ve done were halted. I didn’t realize until Allah made me carry myself up. Afterward, I realized what I’ve missed and what I’d have gained had I been writing for that period of sadness.

Sadness is just there to eat up your active charisma. It’ll leave you dormant and unable to work or to work well. On the other hand, happiness will gear you to work and what fantastic thing to do in order to keep your life going.

  • You’ll drive away suspicion from people

One thing I hate to happen is when people ask, “Oh brother, what’s wrong with you.” This tells my mind that, “oh something has struck you, guy. Wake up.” When you wear a sad look, it makes people ask about what is wrong with you and this could be nauseating sometimes.

Sometimes, you might not even want to tell your challenges to people, but when you are being asked what’s wrong with you then you’d be pushed to either say what’s bothering you or to tell a lie which is bad.

  • You’ll influence people around you

Even when you are not a motivational speaker, the contagious nature of happiness will tend to radiate to the people around you and you will find yourself influencing the people around you through your affable nature.

If you are to think of it, you will notice as was earlier said that you will be active when happy. This happiness will influence you to work, assist people, tend to those who need you, etc. So, when you do this, it is natural that people around you will be happy. Not to talk of when this happiness even influences you to do extra work of going further to tend to people’s issues. This will make you contribute your sweet quota to bring smiles from people’s face and this is what you should live for.

  • You’ll not leave a chance for Shaytan (devil)

Sadness is not only a way of draining your happiness but it is also an opening for Shaytan. The accursed Shaytan will tend to use this chance to insinuate bad things into your mind. He might insinuate suicide into you. He might insinuate other egregious things into you. He might tell you to just do those bad things since this life is just worthless and nonsensical anyway and that you don’t have any reason to still remain your good self.

However, you have Allah to hope in and you have a brighter future ahead of you. But Shaytan will want to talk you down suggesting all kinds of evils. This is one kind of evil associated with sadness. It is one thing worth getting happy.

Additionally, Shaytan will suggest to you to overthink things and makes you think you can’t get help. Buy nay. That situation is not unsolvable. So fight your mind to be happy and leave no space for Shaytan.

  • You won’t hurt yourself

Overthinking and sadness have physiological and psychological effects on you. On one side, you are making yourself prone to high blood pressure and the likes. On another angle, you are punishing your heart and keeping yourself away from beneficial work. In fact, you are also prone to spiritual effects with sadness. Spiritually, your faith will be touched and that would result in thinking suicide and other bad things.

Happiness will improve you all round. It will help you physiologically, psychologically, and spiritually. You’ll be free and active, beaming with pride and joy. So why not embrace happiness in contrast to sadness.

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Why you must be happy

  • Know that the world is transitory

You should realize whenever that feeling of sadness and despondency come that this life is only for some fleeting time. Whether we all like it or not, this life will end. So why make yourself sad over what is ephemeral?

The world is so funny that one time passes while another comes. Barely can you remember what went on when you were very young. You would realize that some bad events might have happened to you at some past times but at the present time, those events are barely remembered.

You can relate some examples. Some national events have occurred and at their time of occurrence, everybody would be all talking about it. However, after some passing times, those events would die down and you would barely hear people talk about them again.

That’s how most hard times are. The challenge you’re facing would pass bi idhniAllah and you would open a new beautiful page. But don’t spoil the new page with being sad. Sometimes when you are looking for a job some people will ask, “What have you been doing? What are your experiences?” If you spoil your present time with sadness and you fail to get up to work, you would later blame yourself because you won’t be able to present anything at such a time.

Moreover, the world itself is just for a brief period. It will definitely end one day. So, why not do the primary assignment we’re assigned in the world and be happy.

  • Happiness is better for you

Weighing happiness and sadness, then you would realize that the price of sadness is expensive than the price of happiness. So, why wouldn’t you choose the cheap one? Happiness is good for your body, mind, and soul. You would be able to work well and relate well with people when you are happy. You would be able to influence people and think well. Sadness, on the other hand, will leave you in despair and dejection. So wouldn’t you rather be happy?

  • You’ll become thankful to Allah

One thing you’d appreciate with happiness is the fact that you’ll not be ungrateful to Allah for His blessings on you. When you are happy, you will be able to think straight, look at those below you, and give thanks to Allah.

Sadness will make you hate your life. You will always be looking at those above you and barely say AlhamduliAllah for the blessings you have.

Happiness will, after making you thankful, make you beg Allah for even more while sadness will make you reject the blessings Allah has bestowed on you. Your ultimate blessing is Islam and you might not recognize this when you are overcome with sadness, may Allah forgive us all. So, be happy always and be thankful for the little but big blessings you have.

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How you can be happy

You would realize now that you need to really stay happy. So, how can you be happy all the time even when your heart bore sadness? Below, you will read some nice tips to stay happy all the time insha’Allah. I hope you’d utilize these tips and be your happy self.

  • Never let sadness be written on your face

When you give yourself the mandate to never allow people see sadness in your face or, more importantly, to never give your heart a breathing space for sadness, then you will make it a point of duty for yourself to always be happy.

The point here is, whenever you’re feeling sad in any way, you must quickly disdain it and replace it with happiness in any good means possible. When you feel a speck of sadness, make it your point of duty to wipe it off fast.

  • Pray a lot

This prayer includes all acceptable forms of obligatory and recommended prayers and supplications. Your important antidote to happiness is just to believe in Allah in your affairs and rely solely on Him for your betterment. Pray that Allah make you happy all the time. Do supplications that are recommended at specific times such as in the morning and evening, before and after taking off your clothes, before and after using the toilet, before going out and when coming in, etc. There are just many you can do. Do naafil prayers (recommended prayers) such as solat duha, naafil before and after obligatory prayers, sunnatu-l-wuduh, etc.

Immerse yourself in payers and supplication in night and day and always make Allah your recourse whenever you feel weighed down by a sad feeling.

  • Ensure you don’t build any estranged relationship

A good ingredient for your happiness is to ensure you don’t have any malice with anybody. Free your mind and this will help you too. Say or text “I’m sorry” to people who deserve it. In fact, reach out to the people who, perhaps, are the ones who have offended you. Just make amends with everyone you know and never allow to be in between you and another person any malice or ill-feeling. This will free your mind in contrast to the ransom that malice will hold your mind in.

  • Listen to the Qur’an together with its translation

You should listen to the Qur’an all the time as this is a sure soothe to your mind. More so, you should even run fast back to the Qur’an at times of sadness. This will so soothe your mind miraculously and systematically. To enjoy this soothing blessing, you should even listen alongside the translation. Here, you will get Qur’an together with its English translation insha’Allah https://thequranreciters.com/

  • Do dhikr (remembrance of Allah) a lot

There are lots of dhikrs that have been revealed in the Qur’an and Hadith that you can always do. SubhaanaAllahi wabihamdihi subhaanaAllahi-l-‘adheem is one. SubhaanaAllahi walhamduliAllahi walaailaaha illallahu waAllahu Akbar walaahaola walaa quwwata illa biAllah is another. And there are just many others. Do these often to ward off sadness from your heart. You should even move fast to doing them whenever you feel you are about to be overcome with sadness.

Moreover, there are specific prescriptions at some specific times that are in the sunnah (Prophet Muhammad’s – peace and blessings of Allah be upon him – traditions). There are prescriptions for when you are in distress, feeling anxiety and sorrow, when affairs are becoming difficult, when afflicted by a calamity, etc. You can get this in the popular book Hisnul Muslim (the citadel of the believer). You can download the book using a web search or you can also download it on App Stores on mobiles.

  • Train your mind

One way to fight sadness and embrace happiness is to get your mind accustomed to happiness instead of sadness. Never ever allow sadness into it. Make it a habit. Whenever sadness is coming, just fight it back and embrace happiness instead. With this, you’d have trained your mind and over the time, sadness will be going away even at extreme times bi idhniAllah. Also, use all other points mentioned to get your mind trained.

  • Be with God-fearing and lively people

Another way to get over sadness is to be with people who fear Allah and who will not add to your sorrow. You can share your thoughts with them or just be around them sharing good things and playing out with them. You can participate in collective community or mosque works where you’ll be around good people. This will diffuse your thoughts and make you feel happy.

  • Share what’s disturbing you

When you feel sad, then you can share your thoughts with someone you love. Be cautious with this as it is better to have your thoughts to yourself than share it with an untrusted person. So, know who you share your thoughts with and when you are assured of the kind of person, then share your mind as this will ease your mind.

  • Embrace istikhaara

A way to ward off sadness is to always do istikhaara at times when you need to make a decision. This will ease your mind in regards to any decision you are willing to take. You will feel confident and feel at ease at heart when you seek Allah’s guidance in your decisions. So, whether you want to travel, buy something, go on an event, marry, etc., just seek Allah’s guidance and you’ll surely be guided insha’Allah.

  • Don’t listen to criticisms

You need not listen to criticisms about you. This may dampen you and lead you to feel sad. Of course, you need to be better, but most criticisms are just there to make you feel worse at heart. They are founded to harm you. This does not mean you should close your ears to good suggestions, corrections, or advice, but you should try to identify these from bad criticisms as the later can leave you feeling unhappy.

  • Don’t be disturbed by your brother’s achievements

Whenever you see any good thing from your brother or anybody, you should rejoice and even pray for them. Feeling sad over your brother’s achievement in respect to your woes will only affect you negatively. Consequently, you will be sinning to Allah.

When you see a new thing from your brother, say maa shaa Allah and pray for them. Never try to think about the fact that you are not having that thing. Train yourself as regards this as it is what Allah wants and it is what your heart will find peace in.

  • Trivialize the world

No matter what you are or you’ve achieved, just know that the world is still ephemeral and that everything will end. So, take things easy. Be calm, gentle, and happy. Never overthink things and give your heart a rest. May Allah grant you succor.

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Conclusion

You must be happy. You must not allow a speck of sadness in your heart. Happiness is good for you while sadness is just not good for you. So, try, pray, and strive to be happy all the time. Utilize the tips mentioned here and make it a point of duty for yourself to be happy always. You would be happy bi idhniAllah, won’t you? May Allah bring happiness into your heart. Stay happy always!

Why You Should Not Get Yourself Worked Up Over A Matter

by Bashir Oyetunji

“Only if people could pin down some days of their life, but they can’t.”  [L. A. Oyetunji]

Days will come and go. Sweet days will be alternated with sour ones, and sour days will go away by Allah’s will.

You: “What has happened to me? I have a big problem.”

Me: “Okay, yes, you have one but why should you brood so much on it you allow it affect your productivity?”

You: “It is easy for you to say that. Isn’t advice easy to give?”

Me: “True, it is easy to give advice, but I’m sincere with mine. I want you to stop getting worried.

“Importantly, reflect, reflect. If reflection doesn’t surface now, it’ll later, I’ve noticed this. Many things which happen to us have their reflection points.

“I’m sincere. It’s not gainsaying. It’s not like those other words. Take a bit of reflection on my following analyses.”

Five years before this time, some people had a novel challenge, we’d say. Forward to this time, they may not even remember again, Allah’s willing. Even if they do, it, probably, might not be that heavy like it was from the initial stage.

Why don’t you pray now? Let go of your worries and be favored by the reward of patience.

Perhaps, your problem is a call to action for you, for you to get-up-and-go. Let it be ingrained in the bottom of your heart today that your challenges in shaa Allah will move you to somewhere, someplace. Someplace good, yes. But you need to be patient and prayerful. You need to be dutiful and get closer to Allah. Without patience and prayer, you may not achieve anything with your challenges; you’ll only be brooding and then time will be going off, and perhaps, you may be moved to branch the no-go-areas (all things that are in discordance with Allah’s commands) which you must not do.

Now see, I have two links for you to read

https://islamqa.info/en/30901

https://islamqa.info/en/210410

Read them and think about them.

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Trials and tests are from Allah. I need you to, however, be patient, be repentant.

Okay now see, really, people will talk and stop. That’s the basic. Talks will stop someday. There are enough on people’s table than talking on your matter for days on end.

Okay, what if they talk, it’s none of your business. Assure me something, however, be right. Be fearful of Allah. Be repentant. Even if it’s really a fault from you, repent and be dutiful to Allah. Then know that Allah forgives. Work righteousness and move on.

Say: “O ‘Ibâdî (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allâh, verily Allâh forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful (Surah Az-Zumar 39:53)

Never stay. Never brood on a spot.

Where were you when you ate your phlegm and your classmates laughed at you? You can’t even remember. You’ve forgotten that. Now, you’re a bigger person.

Allowing yourself to remain in a spot because of your errors is no solution.

Suicide, suicide you say. It is not a solution for two reasons:

  1. Do you despair of Allah’s mercy?
  2. Ponder on this hadith

Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever throws himself down from a mountain and kills himself will be in the Fire of Hell, throwing himself down therein forever and ever. Whoever takes poison and kills himself, his poison will be in his hand and he will be sipping it in the Fire of Hell forever and ever. Whoever kills himself with a piece of iron, that piece of iron will be in his hand and he will be stabbing himself in the stomach with it in the Fire of Hell, forever and ever.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5442; Muslim, 109.

It is like a kindle to your fire.

Just think clearly about this:

Allah burdens not a person beyond his scope (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:286)

Think again:

Verily, along with every hardship is relief (Surah Al-Inshirah 94:5)

Whenever you remember this verse you should feel assured that Allah will make it possible for you to handle your situation and that you’ll come off your problem in shaa Allah.

So, wouldn’t Allah make true His words?

So be patient (O Muhammad SAW). Verily, the Promise of Allâh is true (Surah Ghafir 40:55)

You must be strong.

Yes, it’s true your problem is unique, but it can never be overwhelming for your Creator.

Yes, it is big, but it is always surmountable with Allah.

How have you been living all these while? You, really, can’t even say if you want to. It is unexplainable. Systematically, consciously or subconsciously Allah will make a way out by His Power.

Assure me of one more thing:

Supplicate to Allah.

Utilize supplication-answering periods. Do the obligatory prayers and ensure fervently to do the voluntary ones. Spread your hands to Ar-Rahman to have mercy on you. Seek his forgiveness. Spread your hands in humility. He is the creator of heavens and earth. He creates everything inside it. He sustains them. He knows what’s in your hearts.

Remember my dad’s words, “only if people could pin down some days of their life, but they can’t.” So don’t worry. By Allah’s will, those sad days will soon go. Brace yourself. Laugh. Get to work right now. Say hello lovingly to friends and family. Assure them yourself that it will be well by Allah’s will. So move on. Move on my friend, come on 🙂

Give Yourself Some Time

by Bashir Oyetunji

“I can’t know this subject!

“This language is too hard for me to learn!

“I just can’t master this work!”

These are what you chant every time, and then you make these feelings overcome you in the course of your works. Afterward, you give up and stop learning.

You’ve been giving chance to a thief to steal your important life process. Stop and relax. There is one important recipe you need in the course of your learning. That recipe is time.

Journeying through learning

As a student of knowledge, you will be faced with challenges in the course of learning. A major one you’ll encounter is the arduousness in learning. It’ll seem hard. You’ll feel like stopping. You’ll get bored. You’ll try to memorize but they’ll fly off.

Know that these feelings are normal at the start. If it is possible, you can ask scholars if these feelings still abide with them after they’ve been called scholars. But know for sure that at the initial stage they didn’t just develop magnet in their brain.

Know that the people you now call scholars persevere to know what they know today. They underwent hardship. They experienced headaches, pains, and they burned midnight candles. Ultimately, it is Allah’s favor on them.

So, you too should follow their footstep. Pray to Allah to enrich you with knowledge and its sisters. Then think not that you’ll know everything within a short period of time from when you start. The basic fact, though we’re gifted differently, is that knowledge acquisition takes time and patience. Give yourself these.

Being in a haste too much will dampen your morale. Why? That’s because it will make you feel like you’re not getting anything you’re learning. Ultimately, it’ll make you want to stop. When the feeling of stopping descends on you, then all you’re working for is gone.

Time, Time Management, Stopwatch

Sailing their ship

Scholars of Islam (may Allah be pleased with them all) are people I admire so much. These people know thousands, even millions of Hadiths (Prophet’s – peace and blessing of Allah be upon him – narrations) in addition to knowing the whole Qur’an by heart. I wonder, do these people started and ended in a day. Of course not.

These scholars are easily perceived as “Oh, gifted. Blessed.” But do you think the knowledge just dawned on them? Definitely not! It is a result of perseverance which Allah has favored them with.

The piece of advice

Learning, of course, is not easy. You’ll need to read and memorize. Do not despair. Do not think you cannot know. Essentially, give yourself some time, you need it.

Whenever you’re being pulled down by a block, try to relax, then try again, then relax, then try again, and continue till you know it. Pray always for Allah’s ease through your tasks. Also never be pompous with whatever knowledge you’re gifted with. Know always that it is Allah’s favor on you.

Moreover, do not learn for money alone. Learn because you want to know.

 

As you relax and give yourself time while being hardworking, sip from this quote by Sheikh al-hadith Muhammad bn ‘Aliy ādam Al ītiyopii (hafidho u Llah) (translated by a dear brother):

نَصِيحةٌ ذَهَبيَّةٌ لِطالِبِ العِلمِ”

قال العلَّامة المحدِّث محمد ابن علي آدم الأثيوبي-حفظه الله تعالى- :

” فيا أيها الطالب اللبيب، والراغب الأريب، اعلم – أسعدك الله تعالى – أنَّ هذا العلم بطيئ اللزام، بعيد المرام، لا يُرى في المنام، ولا ينال بالأوهام، ولا يُورث عن الآباء والأجداد والأعمام، ولا يناله كسلان ولا يُوفَّقَه نومان، ولا يُلقَّاه من قطع نهاره بالاجتماع، وليله بالجماع؛ وإنما يُعطاه من بذل كلّه في سبيل الطلب، ولم يبال لما يناله من كدّ وتعب “.

الفوائد السمية (14/2)

 

“Golden advice for student of knowledge

Sheikh al-hadith Muhammad bn ‘Aliy ādam Al ītiyopii (hafidho u llah) said:

So I call on you intelligent students of knowledge who want goodness. Know (may Allah make you successful) that this knowledge is a slow obligation, far envisaged (not achieved in a day) , is not seen in dreams and is not achieved through deceit and is not inherited from parents and grandparents and uncles. And it is not attained by a lazy person and not achieved by the sleepy. And not achieved by one who cuts his day with social meetings and his night with intercourse. It is only given to one who use or sacrifice everything on the path of knowledge acquisition, and doesn’t care when he will achieve it in labour (hard work) and tiredness.”

الفوائد السمية (14/2)

You’re Unique, Different, and Special!

by Bashir Oyetunji

You’ve seen the sun, moon, and stars. Do you notice how special they are in their different ways?

So also are the flowers. The roses, tulips, azaleas, etc. They’re all lovely creatures!

You might also have noticed the herbs and plants. You’d see they are all created by the Most High for specific and special purposes.

All these lovely creations have awesome ways they serve their purposes of creation.

Just like the sun, moon stars, and flowers…, you are also special, different, adorable, and useful in your own way(s).

You are useful. You have purposes. You are magnificent. One, two, three, or more skill and ability, you are just the special being you are.

Why think you are a waste? Nay, you are not. Have you forgotten you would be raised in the life to come just like every other human will be raised?

Who says you are a waste? You are Allah’s sign on earth. You are His creation.

Relax, and get not worried. Take your time to think about the following.

  • That your purpose may be different from that of another person

The sun shines in the day and is appreciated by all. It serves various purposes, part of which is illuminating the world, acting as drier for the body and the earth, shinning on the plants for respiration, and hitting the world so that we’d see ourselves.

The moon shines at night and denotes the passing of months. It also illuminates the world at night.

The stars are special in their sparkles to the sky. They act as reflectors for people who reflect by looking up the sky at night.

All of these creations have even much more functions than anyone could say. You are also a special purpose creation just like the stars and others. You have your different roles to play – in your family, in your neighborhood, in your community, in your nation, and in the world.

Whatever role you play should be appreciated and purposed.

Your special ability might be in your affable nature. It might be in your interaction mode. You might be an influencer through the way you solve people’s issues. Your secret might just be anywhere (and never in things that are in disobedience to Allah).

If you are in the position of the sun, whereas you should be in the position of the stars, then you would have been a misfit.

Whatever your position, role, contribution, and achievement, you are different and special, unique and worthy.

The role of forming a nation through your family is mammoth. The role of producing for the benefit of mankind is weighty. The role of serving the world and making it a better place is heavy. Never look down upon yourself by any means.

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  • Realize that whatever you do, you will be raised up on the Resurrection Day

The realization of resurrection, though fearful when thought about, is soothing to your disturbed mind that you’re indeed here for a purpose. Once you’re human, then you qualify to be admitted into Paradise. The crux for you then is to earn the Paradise through Allah’s mercy and dutifulness to Him.

So, why look down upon yourself when you know that you have a purpose of worshipping Allah on earth. This is a great purpose which supersedes many other things. So, you should rise up, worship, feel good, and meditate about goodness. You should not let any feeling of inferiority dissuade you from your primary purpose of worship.

  • Never be complacent about your shortcomings. Work and work to change them

Perhaps what’s making you look down on yourself is that you think your talent is not like others. Nay, you have your own special way. Perhaps it is that you’ve not yet mastered that ability, so go on and learn.

Work and work to change any mistake you’re encountering. You could be like the great ones you admire. In fact, you can be better. Just do not be complacent, continue working even for years. Work, work, and work. Never stop working. Even when you seem to have stopped in your outer eyes, know deep down yourself that you’ve not stopped and that you still aim for the top in that your field, for the best, for breaking grounds in your field, and for impacting in your own set goal.

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Never look down upon yourself because you are a worker but not a producer. You are special.

Never look down upon yourself for any reason. You are special.

Be positive about yourself today and always. Utilize the remaining allotted time you have on earth judiciously. Work and work hard. Strive and strive hard. Be determined and smile at yourself every time. Love yourself and everyone around you. Get up today and go and impart the world!