Category Archives: Mistakes

Your Gifts

by Bashir Oyetunji

Once, I was called upon by this young and vibrant youth to help with something. I had thought that work would be an exhausting work so I felt reluctant to answer the call. After meeting with this guy, however, I was astounded and I reflected. He actually wanted a help with a writing that, to me, is so simple but, to him, was a mountain.

There I thought about this writing ability I’m gifted with and from there the reflection came upon me, what if I don’t know how to write, surf the internet, use a communication device, etc., would I have incurred any sin to my account when I don’t know these things? Now that I know them, wouldn’t I incur sins to my account when I fail to use these gifts in the right way? I asked myself further, should my gifts be an advantage for me or a disadvantage? How am I using my gifts?

Extensively, I got myself thinking about what we all are gifted with. It’s not only about a skill but it extends to even our existence. Is our existence not worthy of been explored to gain good rewards for ourselves? What about our gifts of hands, legs, eyes, and other parts of our body? Shouldn’t those parts be used to gain rewards instead of being used to incur sins?

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Most times, we tend to use our concrete and abstract gifts to commit sins. This is a wrong thing to do. Those things should rather be used to gain good rewards for ourselves.

Your beauty shouldn’t be used to destroy. Rather, it should be used to please your legal partner.

Your money should not be used to destroy individuals, families, nations, or the world. It should not be used to show off to those who don’t have it. Rather, it should be used to help, save, and acquire good rewards.

Your children should not be used to make those who don’t have yet cry by whatever bad way. Rather, you should worship through them.

Your devices should not be used to indulge in sinful acts. Rather, they should be used to acquire knowledge and gain things.

Your knowledge should not be used to look down on people. Rather, it should be used to save people.

It is a thing of joy to own a car. Isn’t it? But should that car be used to commit evil acts? No, it shouldn’t. Think about when someone doesn’t have a car, will such a person have any sinful reward to his reward bank? So now that one is in possession of that car, should it be used to even acquire bad rewards?

Imagine, however, how that car would be a plus for one when one uses it well. One would even be higher up in terms of reward gaining and benefiting people with it.

Wait here, no one is saying that you should discard your gifts. No, that’s insane. No one is saying that you should feel unhappy for your gifts. No. We all want good things of this world, definitely.

However, use those gifts to help, save, and gain rewards. Don’t hide them unnecessarily and don’t flaunt them unnecessarily. Rather, express them and make them known so you would save humanity with them.

I use to envy people who spend on others. This is a virtuous act. Some others, instead, hide their money so people won’t request it from them but that shouldn’t be.

Some others, meanwhile, flaunt their money on nonsenses even though people out there are starving. This is not right as well.

Isn’t it nice to make someone happy? It’s nice my dear. It’s a reason to live.

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A point of note

Now, you might be wondering, “why am I gifted this thing?” No, don’t do that. It’s a blessing and a plus. Also, you might want to over pull yourself. No, be gentle on yourself.

What I would advise, however, is just to try to, as much as possible, use your gifts well. Also, whenever you make a mistake, try to recall yourself, ask for forgiveness, and follow bad deeds with lots of good deeds.

 

So, be thankful for your gift and rise up to save someone with it today. You’ll feel a sense of happiness within you I tell you. Use your gifts to gain good rewards today, don’t use them to incur sins.

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I’m sorry: Little But Powerful Words

Plus: we might be moving to a new website soon insha’Allah

by Bashir Oyetunji

I still remember how a more than 20-year relationship would have been tainted had I not humbled myself and utter the words, I’m sorry. AlhamduliAllah! It was an event that occurred between my sister and me, you can imagine. I was oblivious of the fact that she was helping me get a commodity which I sent her while she didn’t want to tell me the ardor she was going through to get it. I said some not-too-healthy words and . . . I had to retract them afterward.

I’m sorry is what I will call the little devil. These words appear simple and easy to pronounce, but, to be honest, they are actually hard to utter.

I’m sorry are words powerful than we can imagine. They can save or kill, revive or ruin, unite or disunite, and bring about war or stop it.

You wonder how I’m sorry can cause a whole nation to go to war? Yes, imagine a costly mistake made by a tribe to another tribe or made by the head of a nation. When such a mistake is complemented by I’m sorry, a seeming war might be averted. But when, and that’s what happens most times, such a mistake is complemented by a pompous feeling and subsequently a refusal to say I’m sorry, imagine what could result thereby.

Excuse Me, I'M Sorry, Stamp, Font

The power of I’m sorry

I’m sorry is one little and funny sentence. As abstract as it is, it can go deep down into the heart of an individual and soothe it.

This simple sentence is what some married couples are bereft of and which is tearing them apart. Most partners would not admit their mistakes, so I’m sorry will be hard for either of the party to say.

The power behind this sentence is that it usually makes the one saying it to be the one at fault and this simple fact is what people don’t want to admit and what makes people decline the saying of this sentence.

I’m sorry is not easy to say. Even when people say it out of merely wanting to settle things (without them being at fault), it would be devoid of life and, sometimes, it could even be withdrawn.

If elders had not been pompous to say I’m sorry, then most feud would have been averted. If younger ones (imagine that too) have not been pompous to say the words, then the world would have been a better place.

I’m sorry makes you lower yourself in humbleness. And to do that, my dear, it takes real forbearance.

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Characteristics of I’m sorry

As simple as it is to say these words or even to fake it, they don’t come out of the sheer opening and closing of the mouth.

These words are gigantic and, in fact, I use to think to decide if the person I want to say them to deserve them. These words have some attributes which would make then insignificant if they are not present. Here are the attributes.

  1. Fully accepting your wrong

It’s not just about the words coming out but it’s about knowing that the recipient deserves it. Perhaps, that’s why it’s hard for people to say them most times.

  1. Saying them sincerely because you regret your actions

When you say I’m sorry because you really regret your action, I bet those words will be weighty to the recipient and will have the needed effects they should have in the mind of the recipient.

  1. Saying them because you really want a settlement

This is where I’m sorry can come even when you don’t really offend the recipient but just want a settlement. In this scenario, you will really have to mean the words for the purpose of mending your relationship. Most times when this happens, you’ll most likely have the chance to get back your I’m sorry from the person you’ve said it to at a later time in the future. However, you have to really mean it and say it for the purpose of friendship and importantly, you must know that you won’t misbehave in retaliation to the recipient.

Final words

I’m sorry can heal, dear reader. They are powerful words and, sincerely, I’ve seen them work. It has worked for me in my relationship with friends and families. So, fight that why-will-I-apologize urge and just say I’m sorry. Please do. Let’s make the world better. Let’s keep a healthy relationship.

 

P.S. I’m sorry I couldn’t post last Friday. This post is intended to replace Friday’s missed post. Actually, I got this offer from my beautiful brother to open a better website where we can post articles in a better way, have a better view, and get more advanced. That would be different from the WordPress hosted site we’re currently using. I pray that happens. You’ll surely know, insha’Allah, when it does. I thought the website would be ready early but it happened that it didn’t. So, assist me with your individual prayers. So, erm . . . sorry!

How To Deal With Your Mistakes

by Bashir Oyetunji

Have you made this one mistake that you think is so severe to the extent that you brood about it all day? Have you made this one mistake that you think is so serious and that you believe you wouldn’t be able to deal with it?

Relax my dear. Would you believe that you’ve got companies in the mistake-making thing? Yes, I make mistakes too. And for your information, my dear, most people do, too.

Now, let’s go into the imagination land for a bit.


Let’s imagine you have fifty more years to live on earth and then at age twenty you make a mistake that makes you see yourself as worthless. Let me ask you, will you allow the mistake you make at age twenty to shatter the entire remaining fifty years of your life? Would you allow that embarrassing event you encountered to jeopardize the entire remaining fifty years you are to spend in life? Don’t you think those remaining years are worthwhile?


Just as you wouldn’t want to jeopardize your remaining fifty years of life with a single mistake, so also must you not take every other mistake, pitfall, sad experience, or embarrassment to heart. You must discard them, put them behind, and never allow them to negatively determine even the next day of your life.


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Why you must leave your errors behind

If you keep nagging on a mistake you made yesterday. You keep doing so till a whole week runs out. You got so embittered by the mistake that you still keep brooding on it for a whole year. In fact, you think that you will never ever stop thinking about it every single day of your life.

OK, now think about it. Would the gravity of brooding about the mistake even bring back the event? Definitely, no. It has gone and gone forever. However, you can only make yourself better by doing some things which will be subsequently discussed.

A day that’s gone can never come back again. Even if you wail, cry and tear your body, the day has gone forever, and you will only see the breaking of new days.

Moreover, those you think were involved in the past event will go by. Young ones will grow old. But what about your life? Will you allow the event to destroy it?

Assuming you were given the chance to go back and amend the mistake you did, do you realize that you might still make another mistake before you return to the present. And will you keep going back all the time?

It is in our nature to make mistakes. The only advantage you’d do to yourself, however, is to learn from each mistake. When you do so, then subsequently, your mistakes will be getting minimal.

Think about it, if you didn’t make the mistakes you’ve made in the past, do you think you’d be worthwhile today? How did you get to walk? You stood up, fell, stood up, fell, and you stood up again.

Same as when you’re learning how to drive. You know you have to start somewhere and you’ll then be moving up and up from there.


What you must do instead

Now that you’ve agreed to leave behind your mistakes, there are some things to do instead in regards to your mistakes. Here they are.

Learn

Yes, you must learn from your mistakes. You would be unfair to yourself when you don’t learn from your errors. You shouldn’t lose on two ends, should you? Agreed that you got control of your mistakes by getting over it, won’t you then want to know how to avoid making the same mistake again?

For example, when you fail as regards your conduct with someone, then try to take initiative from the experience. How should you subsequently be relating with people?

When you learn from each mistake, you’ll be growing gradually, consciously or subconsciously. If, for instance, you make one hundred mistakes in a year, then for each of the hundred mistakes, you’d have learned another one hundred ways of success, of strength, of knowledge. Imagine that!

So, always ensure to learn from each mistake as that’d be your asset and your takeaway.


Make necessary corrections

You should also try and correct your errors if there is a chance for you to do so. If, for example, you were wayward to someone and you later realize your conduct, there is nothing wrong in amending your ways with the person by apologizing, perhaps.

You might have behaved badly to your wife or husband. Instead of brooding on the mistake or making it consume you, just go and make the necessary correction with him/her.

You might have committed a writing error in an assignment? If it is possible to change it, then go do so before your chance will elapse.


Move on

Whatever you do, you just must make sure you move on after your mistakes. You must never let the mistakes consume you by making you stagnant. Take the mistakes lightly and forge ahead. If you commit another, still forgo the mistake and move on. Do not give your mistakes the chance to take over you.


Never brood

Brooding on your mistakes is dangerous. It can even lead you to commit suicide. Whatever you do, let go your mistakes all the time and try to move ahead in life. You’ve committed them and there is nothing you can do to go back in time. However, there is the present which you can use judiciously and the future which you don’t know about. So brace up and get up after your mistakes.

So, what have you learned about your mistakes? Feel free to share them!